Words Can Hurt

Miara Bonner

Do bullies bully because they are bullied? As a young person, I have experienced bullying first hand. In middle school, I was picked on due to my intelligence and choice of clothing. As a result, I experienced severe depression and anxiety. It is essential that bullying is discussed in schools. Contrary to popular belief that bullying is an important subject, some people believe that bullying can build character and increase awareness throughout small cities. Bullying should be discussed in schools in order to decrease the amount of teen suicides due to bullying throughout the country and raise awareness to children, teens, and adults.

Initially, bullying should be discussed in schools because it impacts one’s academic adjustment and achievement. Studies show that 11.9% of boys and 13.4% of girls were bullied by someone at their school. According to statistics reported by ABC News, nearly 30 percent of students are either bullies or victims of bullying, and 160,000 kids stay home from school every day because of fear of bullying. The Department of Education and Early Childhood Development states, “Students who are bullied are more likely to feel disconnected from school, not like school, and have lower academic outcomes, including lower attendance and completion rates.” Although students may be the bully or the person bullied, everyone should be able to know the short and long term effects of bullying and how bullying can affect how a person learns and socializes in an educational environment. Schools should provide mandatory classes based on the negative impacts of bullying. Throughout the year, the class should cover all of the criteria such as, the definition of bullying, the different types of bullying, how bullying negatively affects teens, and the consequences of bullying. Creating this class will decrease the number of cases within schools due to bullying and increase academic performance and success. The class should provide at home assignments that review the criteria covered, giving each child the chance to discuss what they learned in class with their families. Students should feel comfortable being able to speak to their peers about bullying and discuss ways that bullying can be stopped.

Secondly, bullying should be discussed in schools because it affects the victim and the victim’s family. The U.S. Health Behavior in School Aged Children’s Surveys mention the negative effects of bullying as mental distress, poor academic adjustment, and reduced social interaction in victims and victim’s families. Bullies never think about how their actions can lead to emotional distress causing victims and their families to become more distant and secretive within their own household. Bullying can cause lack of trust, irritability, self-doubt, overprotectiveness, withdrawal, and anxiety. Families should provide love and support to show that they care and that they are there for the victim in their time of need. Parents of students that are victims should stop bullying at schools immediately before a simple case of bullying turns into a suicide case. Discussing bullying in schools will bring awareness to the effect of bullying on families as well as students. As a result, families will obtain a clearer understanding of the impacts of bullying on families and will gain knowledge on how to help their loved ones, repairing family relationships.

Lastly, bullying should be discussed in schools because it affects victims mentally and emotionally. Bullying can cause increased feelings of sadness and loneliness (http://www.stopbullying.gov/at-risk/effects). The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services mention that youth who are victims of bullying have a higher chance of agoraphobia, anxiety, and panic disorder and are at risk for antisocial personality disorder. Bullies are not aware of these consequences. They do not consider how bullying can cause mental illness or emotional distress leading to self-mutilation and suicide. Bully victims are between two to nine times more likely to consider suicide than non-victims, according to studies by Yale University. A study in Britain found that at least half of suicides among young people are related to bullying Therefore, they bully until it is too late to save the victim. These feelings of sadness and risks of mental disorders can eventually lead to suicide which can affect a whole city.

All in all, bullying should be discussed in order to increase the awareness of the consequences of bullying among students, parents, and teachers. Schools should teach effective ways to end bullying and handle bullying among students. Being able to understand how these classes can make a large impact on many lives will influence those who have not experienced bullying to make a change within their schools and communities. Together, we can make a change around the world to end the hurt and sadness of these victims and their families, increasing the peace and the hope.

Woman Sues Starbucks For Giving Customers Too Much Ice

Miara Bonner

Stacy Pincus, an Illinois woman, has filed suit against Starbucks for five million dollars. "Why would anyone sue Starbucks, they greatest coffee shop EVER?", one may ask. Pincus has sued Starbucks over ice. Yes, ice. She claims that Starbucks purposely fills their drinks up with more ice than beverage in order to "trick" customers into paying for more product than they are provided with. According to Pincus, "because of the amount of ice Starbucks uses in their iced beverages, customers often end up with half of the amount of drink that is listed on Starbucks' menus in fluid ounces." To support her claim, she explains how the definitions "ice" and a "beverage" differ, demonstrating how the ice cannot be considered a part of the actual product. The lawsuit states, "The word 'beverage' is defined as 'a drinkable liquid.' Ice is not a 'beverage' by definition. Accordingly, Starbucks actually gives the customer much less beverage in the cold drinks they order and pay for." The lawsuit continues, stating that, "Starbucks' Cold Drinks are under-filled to make more money and higher profits, to the detriment of consumers who are misled by Starbucks' intentionally misleading advertising practices."Although Pincus' claims are valid, as well as her support, are her claims reasonable? Is "too much ice" a valid reason to sue one of the most well-known and delicious coffee shops in the world? No. Although Pincus may feel "offended" by the amount of ice that is given in her drinks, many other individuals may not feel this way. In addition, her focus is most likely not on EVERY Starbucks. Many customers may not realize that they can change the amount of ice, asking for either "light ice" or "extra ice". This lawsuit deems to be a petty scam to receive money rather a reasonable way to receive justice for paying customers.

Strict Parenting: A More Disciplined Child or a More Rebellious Child?

Miara Bonner

Once you bring a child into the world, you are introduced to a new subject of life known as, the science of parenting. According to Global Post, parenting style is defined as, "… the ways in which parents set limits, enforce rules, give affection and teach or support…" However, there are various styles of parenting which differ among individuals. Some parents are very lenient and enforce little rules and consequences, whereas, others are strict and provide many limitations. Although strict parenting may have positive benefits, it also has negative effects on the mental and emotional well-being of children.

Let's discuss the positives of being a strict parent!

1. Clear Boundaries

As a parent, you must ensure that your children understand the value of rules. When children have a clear understanding of rules, it is easier for them to anticipate the consequences of their actions. A more lenient style of parenting will leave your child questioning what is right and what is wrong.

2. Keep You Eyes on the Prize

Strict parents often focus on their child's ability to progress academically and socially. This, in turn, can influence their child to remain focused on success and achievement.
3. Self Regulation

Children who grow in strict households often times grow up to be more mature. Although some children that aren't raised in controlled households grow to be mature, it is scientifically proven that children that are grow to have more self-control and more positive mental health.

Despite the few positives of strict parenting, there are many negative effects that can result from it. Some of these effects include:

1. Rebellion

The purpose of strict parenting is to enforce rules and consequences in a more uniformed way. However, if this tactic is too uniform or harsh, this can result in your child feeling attacked. Once your child feels as though you are becoming more of a dictator than a parent, they will begin to resent you, ignoring rules and consequences.

2. Secrets

As a strict parent, you can become TOO focused on controlling rather than listening and caring. When your child feels as though they cannot talk to you, they will begin to hide small things. However, as time continues, they will hide larger and possibly life changing things. In addition, they may begin to trust people that are outside of their household. You and your child will lose your bond or connection and your child may begin to trust the wrong people.

3. Risky Behavior

Children are extremely curious. When a child feels as though they cannot talk to their parent without feeling judged or unimportant, they will not understand the difference between what they should and should not do. Therefore, this can result in risky behavior with unpredictable results. Furthermore, they will also be more likely to be susceptible to peer pressure and influence.

Nonetheless, strict parenting is not an excuse to disrespect your parents. Your parents are not your friends. However, if you are a parent reading this post, ensure that you are observing your child and your child's feelings. As a parent, you are not only obligated to veer your child in the right direction. You are also obligated to be a support system and caregiver.
                                                                                                                                                                                    

Call To Action: #RIPAmy!

Miara Bonner

April 21, 2016…a day to remember in Wilmington, Delaware. Sixteen year old Amy Inita Francis-Joyner was pronounced dead at A.I. DuPont Children's Hospital after being brutally beaten by several girls in a school bathroom. This is an extremely heartbreaking story, bringing tears to the eyes of many and placing fear in the hearts many more. Nonetheless, the question at hand becomes, what can be done to ensure that this tragedy is used as a learning experience rather than just a sad story?

As a sixteen year old, high school student, this story literally brought me to tears. A school should be a safe haven for students to practice effective conflict resolution skills and engage in positive interactions. However, this tragedy is a prime example of a lack of structure within a school, justified by a good reputation. Many schools do not take the time to ensure that the value of rules, as well as consequences, is instilled within students. In addition, schools do not take the extra steps to ensure that both male and female students are provided with the skills to engage in positive interactions among their peers. There are many programs that focus on the development of these skills and target the high school community. Yet, teenagers are not exposed to these programs and therefore, do not take advantage. As a start to decreasing the amount of conflict among high school students, schools should adopt these programs, using them as tools to teach the importance of conflict/resolution skills and in order to prevent incidents such as, Amy Joyner, from happening.

Organic Post: Soul Food

Miara Bonner

Whether bringing together a family of four at a dinner table or reuniting long lost relatives at a family reunion, soul food is one of the many cultural standouts within the black community. Dating back to the time of segregation and Jim Crow Laws, soul food has demonstrated the difference between "black cooking" and "white cooking". Nonetheless, many of the various dishes and ingredients included in "soul food" are regional meals, strongly influenced by the south's "twang". Furthermore, despite the many foods that soul food is composed of, there are five that stand out the most.

1. Fried Chicken

CRUNCH! This is the sound that you hear after biting into a sizzling piece of fried chicken. With its seasoned skin and tender meat, fried chicken deems to be one of the most well known entrees associated with African American culture.

2. Mac and Cheese

If it ain't cheesy, you ain't doing something right! Whether cut up in squares or scooped up from a bowl, you will catch macaroni and cheese as a side at any soul food dinner. Cooked during any time of the year, especially holidays, mac and cheese can bring together even the most difficult of family members.

3. Collard Greens

Many people despise vegetables at the dinner table. However, collard greens are more than just vegetables. They are what brings a "countrified" meal together. Whether cooked by themselves, or soaked in bacon grease with bacon fat, the salty, yet delicious greens are high blood pressure in a bowl.

4. Candied Yams

Baked with brown sugar and marshmallows, candied yams are diabetes in a pan at any soul food dinner. Served especially during holidays such as Thanksgiving and Christmas, yams can substitute for any dessert.

5. Cornbread

Baked to satisfy, cornbread is a sweet and crunchy substitute for a slice of white bread or a roll.

Furthermore, these are five of my favorite soul foods. Raised in a small town in Durham, North Carolina, I have been introduced to many other delicious foods that could have made the list including: Banana Pudding, BBQ Ribs, and white rice. However, the five listed foods stand out the most in many African American homes.

My Opinion: Black Privilege

Miara Bonner

The phrase white privilege refers to " the belief that being white comes with unearned disadvantages." Now, despite the statistical evidence that supports the fact that whites do have an advantage over blacks, they have made the decision to unfairly turn the table on the black community and present the term "black privilege". The article "Its Time to Talk About Black Privilege" begins supporting the ethically and socially unjustified term by discussing Black History Month. Rather than supporting the culturally uplifting month, the white retiree claimed that because whites are not given an entire month to celebrate their history, this is considered a "black advantage". However, he did not discuss the numerous amount of events, celebrations, and holidays that support Caucasians who have "supposedly" bettered Americans or the United States. For example, Christopher Columbus Day. Students are excused from school and Columbus is celebrated for finding an ALREADY discovered piece of land. This seems extremely unnecessary to me! 

The advantage that whites have over blacks is extremely evident within many different settings including the business world. The article argued that "the fact that white people are better off is not a privilege; it's earned." This quote does not accommodate for the many educated, hard working blacks who are forced to compete with whites to receive high leveled positions. For example, if a white and black woman were competing for a job position and are the same age, went to the same college, and had the same amount of job experience and business ethic, it is statistically proven that the white woman would be more likely to receive the job due to, SPECIFICALLY, her skin color. This seems like a PRIVILEGE to me! 

According to the article, "If you try to embrace being white, you are portrayed as being racist…whites are now trying to pass as black…" Firstly, as a black living in a predominantly white America, you are AUTOMATICALLY considered a nigger, ignorant, stupid, ghetto, so on and so forth. Why? Because of your race. Therefore, this accommodates for the fact that whites feel as though they are always portrayed as racist. In addition, history has presented the white community as racist due to their OWN actions. Now, if whites are now attempting to "pass" as black or present themselves as something that they are not, this is a white problem! Blacks are not forcing whites to step out of their culture. Since segregation, whites have made it acceptable for their communities to copy our darker skin, hair styles and other cultural standouts. However, it has become a problem because "being black" is now a white trend. 

Furthermore, this article presents multiple excuses for whites to take the blame off of their past and current cultural wrongs and place the blame on blacks. 

My Opinion: Teacher Allows Students to Watch 50 Shades of Grey

Miara Bonner

When a student enters high school, they are provided with the opportunity to develop responsibility. This situation is a prime example of how parent's of high school students allow their children to continue without taking responsibility of their actions. Christa Reinert, a concerned parent of a 14 year old who was shown the movie "50 Shades of Grey"by her volleyball chaperone, clearly, has not allowed herself to let go of her college-bound daughter. Rather than scolding her daughter who KNEW that she would not be allowed to watch the movie, she blatantly harassed the chaperone who was in charge of her. Although the chaperone did have somewhat of an obligation to "take care" of the students, as teenagers, the STUDENTS have an obligation to make appropriate and cautious decisions. The 14 year old was not pressured into watching this movie, yet still made the decision to remain unclear about her age and the rules that her parents have instilled in her.

As a parent, Reinert has experienced life as a teenager. She should understand that high school students yearn for independence and do not wish to be restrained from making their own life choices. By prohibiting teenagers from making their own choices, this results in rebellion. However, as a teenager who has strict parents, I understand why she is so overprotective. The main goal of MOST parents is to shape their children into respectable and successful adults. Many elements including social media, music, and movies can influence the actions and perspectives of growing children. Contrary to popular belief, movies that contain sexual content can enhance sexual curiosity. Though this does support the thoughts and feeling that Reinert was overwhelmed with, this does not support her actions against the teacher. Regardless of the surroundings that influence the thinking of teens, they're always going to be curious. Therefore, the teacher should not be punished for the irresponsibility and curiosity of a growing teenager.